The diagnosis of breast cancer is not an easy one to cope with. Physical changes, exhaustion, nausea and pain from treatment, as well as changes to self-image, low energy, and the emotional turmoil the diagnosis causes can put strain on any intimate relationship. Maintaining a relationship when a diagnosis of breast cancer has been made is challenging, and the change in a couple's sex life may further disrupt the relationship. In order to remain close during this time, it is imperative that partners have strong, open communication with one another.

Breast cancer adds more distractions to already busy lives, making it difficult to find time to spend together. Even when partners are able to find time to sit down with one another, interruptions may hinder any serious discussion. However, when a partner has been diagnosed with breast cancer, finding time to talk is extremely important. It may be necessary for couples to schedule time together in a quiet place, free of distractions and interruptions.

Even when couples find time together, talking about the issues surrounding the diagnosis and the importance of the relationship can be difficult. These are serious topics of conversation, and as such partners are often uncomfortable discussing them. It may be best to start with topics that are general, such as how the kids are doing at school, a family visit, or even the weather. Once the conversation is flowing, the serious topics can be gradually worked into the conversation.

Talking, even about less serious topics, is difficult for some people. It may seem frustrating when one partner appears to not want to talk. However, just because they aren't talking, doesn't mean they aren't listening. One partner may need to do most of the talking, making sure to get some sort of feedback along the way. Eye contact and physical touch can help, and feedback may take the form of physical gestures such as a comforting hug, or a squeeze of the hand.

A partner of someone diagnosed with breast cancer may feel like they have no right to burden the other with their feelings and concerns. After all, the one diagnosed with breast cancer is going through enough already. It is important that the partner be reassured that their feelings are important. Breast cancer affects both partners.

If, for any reason, a couple has trouble communicating, it may be wise to make an appointment with a therapist who can help the flow of conversation and help both partners cope with the illness together. If the help of a therapist is not something either partner is comfortable with, it may be beneficial to use the written word to communicate. Sometimes it is easier to express feelings in a letter or journal entry.

Breast cancer is a serious challenge in any relationship. Communication is key to maintaining a healthy relationship, no matter what form the communication takes. With open communication both partners can help each other cope with breast cancer, and may even emerge with a stronger relationship than ever before.

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